


How to Never Stop Being Sad

by MoosuhIsInAnotherCastle



Category: Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch - Fandom
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Author Might be Projecting, BadBoyHalo - Freeform, Drinking, Gen, How Do I Tag, Implied one-sided attraction, Minecraft, My First AO3 Post, No Smut, Sad, Songfic, Swearing, skeppy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26723266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoosuhIsInAnotherCastle/pseuds/MoosuhIsInAnotherCastle
Summary: Skeppy slowly falls into sadness, where's his friends when he needs them?--based off of a song by the same name by dandelion hands
Kudos: 40





	1. "Yeah... I'm fine"

"WHAT THE MUFFIN!?" A loud voice rang out through Skeppy's headphones followed by him laughing. Skeppy and Bad were playing Bedwars, and Skeppy had just knocked Bad off of his island, "I SWEAR I WAS BREAKING YOUR BED!"

Little to Bad's knowledge, Skeppy was, once again, cheating in Bedwars, surrounding his bed in barriers so there was no way for Bad to get his bed, "You're so bad!" Skeppy giggled as he quickly made his way to Bad's base, fire charge and a sharpness enchanted iron sword.

"No, YOU'RE cheating! Aren't you!?" Bad yelled as he respawned, only for his bed to be broken. Bad whipped around to see Skeppy running at him, and panicked, "WAIT, NO, NO, WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS!" But the game was soon over, he yelled angerly, "ONE MORE GAME!"

"Bad I have to end the recording!" Skeppy protested, "Also did you get worse at the game?" Skeppy flinched at Bad suddenly slamming his hands on his desk.

"NO! I.." Bad scoffed, not knowing how to respond, "YOU... You cheated..." He ended up grumbling.

"I know, I did." Skeppy replied, ready to end the recording after Bad's reaction. Bad responded with a yell of anger, and disconnected, throwing Skeppy in a fit of laughter as he ended the recording.

Silence.

That's how it always was when Skeppy was alone. When he was with his friends or recording, he was boisterous, confident, vexatious, happy...

Actually, could he even use plural? The smp died off after Roberto's, what, fourteenth death? Skeppy chuckled to himself.

He found himself interacting less with all his friends, replacing what time he used to spend with them with mundane activities, or hanging out with Bad more. Bad, of course, enjoyed the extra attention he got from Skeppy, but Skeppy was worried Bad would start to drift away from him like the others.

No. His friends didn't drift away. They aren't gone.

They aren't gone.

They aren't gone.

They aren't gone.

They just are busy, there's so much to do in this world outside of Minecraft. Outside of... Friends...

Skeppy quickly went into a DM between him and Spifey, quickly shooting a quick text if he wanted to chat in TeamSpeak. He hesitated before exiting the DM, staring emptily at the past messages. Only then did Skeppy realized that Spifey hasn't responded to any of his messages. Just a long string of texts, sent over the period of a few weeks, all from Skeppy.

Skeppy shrugged it off, Spifey probably has stuff t-

A notification.

Spifeys streaming.

Skeppy felt empty. A lash of anger was quickly overcome by a feeling of sadness and loneliness. Skeppy sunk into his chair, only to jump back up and go straight to his and Bad's DM's.

"Bad" he sent a text. Skeppy waited a minute before sending another "Bad". Skeppy sent a few more texts saying his name before finally typing "I'm sorry", only then did he get a response.

"I accept your apology, is that it?" Skeppy read over the text several times, trying to sense if it was passive aggressive or innocent. Skeppy spent a few minutes retyping a text multiple times before settling with a simple:

"No"

"What else?"

"I want a hug"

"I can only give you a virtual hug"

"That's fine"

"Is that all?"

"No"

"Wouldn't it be easier to TS?"

Skeppy stared at the text nervously, biting his lip before texting back:

"Sure"

Skeppy quickly entered a channel and waited. A few minutes passed before Bad finally joined.

"What is it Skeppy?" Bad asked. Skeppy stayed silent, unsure of what to say. Bad waited a few seconds before asking, "Skeppy?"

"I'm here..." Skeppy spoke quietly, the mic only just picking it up.

"Are you ok Skeppy?" Bad asked, suddenly worried. Skeppy hesitated before mumbling.

"Yeah... I'm fine"


	2. Overwhelming Feelings

Skeppy laid in a pitch black room, the only light coming from his dim phone screen. He quietly stared at the DMs between him and Bad, chewing his lip as his mind buzzed with thoughts. He wanted oh so bad his feelings to simply dissappear, but he knew full well that waiting would be more harm than good.

That being said, he didn't want to reach out. It wasn't because he wanted to keep these feelings bottled up, he wanted nothing more to spill his most definitely unrequited feelings to his best friend, but he didn't want to put more weight on the other's back.

Skeppy thought about some time in the future, when these feelings, these thoughts, were nothing more than a bad dream. Maybe this was that timeline?

Skeppy wondered if by then, he would be granted the warmth of equally returned love, none of that unrequited shit.

Maybe it was one of the other, Skeppy wasn't sure which one he truely wanted, requited love or being at least content with his life.

At least 2 hours had passed before Skeppy turned off his phone and fell asleep, deciding that he could wait to do it the next day. Just as he had told himself for the past week.


	3. Thanks You's and Mini Comics

At one point in Skeppy's life, he wanted to become a comic artist. He wanted to make his own comic with his own characters, but of course, that ended up falling through. He never could understand how anatomy works and he ended up leaving that dream behind.

That didn't mean Skeppy stopped drawing of course.

His notebook was filled with small doodles of whatever came to mind, at some point he also ended up writing small plots for short comics, and sometimes he got as far as drawing a few panels, but none of them were ever finished.

He never really drew nor wrote in this notebook at home, it was always at a small retro coffee shop he frequented when he was free in the morning, usually just ordering a coffee as he doodled.

Recently, he began drawing mini comics and thank you notes along with his tips, he liked to watch the tired workers finally give a real smile instead of their usual customer service look. It gave him a sense of satisfaction that he could make someone feel better just from small interaction.

Unfortunately, Skeppy never learned any of the workers names, but at this point he was able to walk in and get a coffee just how he likes it with merely a small smile and nod. The workers simply knew that he was quiet and only wanted a coffee.

That aforementioned sense of satisfaction would always be a highlight in his day.


	4. "My life is shit because I deserve it."

Skeppy didn't know what he did wrong. Maybe it was the Webkinz, maybe it was something else. Whatever it was, it must have been really bad.

He felt like he's been through so much shit, despite him feeling like his life was uneventful by his standards. At this point, during his horrible existential crises, he couldn't cry.

After commonly crying over spilled milk before, it felt so wrong to just stare at the ceiling with simply a solemn expression while his thoughts berated him.

"My life is shit because I deserve it."

"I am a horrible person."

"No one cares."

All positive thoughts were overtaken by a wave of negative ones, it was hard to negotiate with the truth.

"You're not good enough."

"Just stop."

Skeppy knew full well it only took one vote of confidence to follow through with anything, the only thing that stopped him was fear. A fear that he would be forgotten. A nagging thought that his demise would be swept under the rug, missed by a few people, but inevitably forgotten.

But it wasn't just being forgotten. He would hurt Bad. He couldn't imagine the horrors Bad would feel when he would hear the news, at first disbelief then a horrible rock in his gut. The poor guy would go through a horrible depressive episode for months on end, not responding to...

Not responding to texts...


	5. Exploding has Consequences

Well shit...

During this horrible train of thoughts, he realized something.

Skeppy turned on his phone and stared at the notifications, a few never returned texts. He realized the most recent text was actually from a few minutes ago from bad, simply stating "get on TS".

Skeppy felt like a child who's parents told that they need to talk to them. An overwhelming fear as he recounted everything he has done wrong in the past 5 years. Skeppy nervously got up and turned on his computer, joining the TeamSpeak channel he saw Bad in.

"He-" Skeppy was interrupted by a shout from Bad.

"Skeppy!?" Bad yelled in an overly worried voice, "Where have you been!?"

"What?" Skeppy felt confused.

"You haven't been responding to anyone and you haven't uploaded or streamed in 3 weeks!" Bad said, exasperated, "Everyone was so worried! What happened!?"

"Nothing." Skeppy replied.

"Lies!" Bad replied, "Skeppy, you can trust me, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong!" Skeppy yelled, getting defensive.

"Obviously something's wrong you Muffinhead! We have been texting you because we want to se-"

"Oh you want to see me! YOU want to SEE me!?" Skeppy yelled, all the stress and anger finally boiling up inside of him, his voice became low and dangerous, "If you wanted to come and see me you'd come, but you won't. You're a pussy." Skeppy left the TeamSpeak without waiting for Bad's reaction and turned off his computer.

Skeppy held his hands in his head, the realization of what just happened slowly sank in.

What the fuck did he just do...


	6. Bottled Love

Oh what had Skeppy just started. From 3 weeks without uploads, soon turned to 4, 5. And now at 6 weeks, he could add another fuck up to his list. While his friends, most likely blissfully unaware of him, were doing things with their life, Skeppy was on the kitchen floor, drowning his demons with old, stolen, rum.

His feelings drowned out by the delightful taste of it running down his throat, rather than the warmth of requited love, he was comforted by bottled love.

But little to his knowledge, this love wasn't as great as it seemed. This artificial love was toxic. A leech preventing him from his full potential.

At this point, he was merely a secondary character in his so called "film" of his, overshadowed by the successors that were known as his "friends"

He took yet another sip from the bottle, he learned to love the taste, he learned to use it to distract himself from the bitter outside, and constrict him into the sweet inside. He didn't need any "friends", as long as his bottled love served it's purpose.

Skeppy heard a sudden knock at his door, he groaned in annoyance at the sudden noise. He decided to ignore it, chocking it up to a door to door salesmen.

The knock came again and he stayed silent, that was until his wonderful fabricated world was shattered by that of an oh so familiar voice.

"Skeppy?"


End file.
